What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.
Having “stopped” the serial on serial killers (just kidding apparently, I have at least one more next week on a short story), I was trying to figure out what to do with my blog. For so many years I’ve tried to “keep it professional”… only about writing and reading. Which is what you do when you’re a professional writer, right? Everything comes back to the writing.
But today I stumbled on the Jetpack daily prompt, and I had a flashback to my days journaling when I was a teen. I was an obsessive journaler when I was a young woman. I always had a journal with me and I usually filled at least two journals a year. Looking back, they were mostly incoherent ramblings about boys, but the fond memories of pen to paper and thoughts puked into the world are still there.
With my mental health problems, and the fact that I probably won’t be a “professional” writer, I thought, “why not?”
So here I am answering what’s something I would attempt if I was guaranteed not to fail. And you know the ironic thing? It’s writing. All this “I’m going to be non-professional and just blog” and it comes back to writing. Because of course it does. But honestly, if I thought I could make the same amount I’m making now (which isn’t an absurd amount… it’s 45k, and it’s only that high because the dollar is way down, it’s usually around 40k a year), I’d quit my job and be a full time writer.
I’ve heard plenty of writers say they don’t actually want to be full time writers. They love their jobs in tech and science. Honestly, I love my job, too. It’s challenging. Everyday I have new problems to solve that keep my brain engaged. I have amazing coworkers. It’s a great job. But it’s not where my heart is. When I was on maternity leave, I was able to just write for two years. I wrote in the mornings, went for a walk with my daughter in the early afternoon, wrote in the late afternoon, and then picked up my son from preschool. Those were the best writing days of my life. I finished three novels and countless short stories. I improved with leaps and bounds.
Then it was over. I had to go back to work and make real money that could support me and my kids. But if I could go back to writing full time and know I’d consistently make enough money that I wouldn’t have to depend on my husband, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
The thing is, I’ve realized that as an indie writer, that’s not going to happen for me. I’ve had three books published in the past two years and, honestly, I sometimes make more money off of a single short story sale than I do off of my books. Most of my indie colleagues who are able to do it full time supplement with either editing, design, publishing or teaching services (none of which I’m interested in). Even if I could get into the trad world — there are so many authors there who aren’t able to make 45k a year from just writing, either. So… that leaves me in the tech world.
I wish I could spend a solid six hours a day writing. I do think I’d come out with some really worthwhile books. Would they be world changing? Probably not. But people would feel seen and heard. Experiences would be shared. Someone’s life would be better for it. Or maybe just mine would.
